WARNING I am not a writer.....I'm a photographer....
When I was a little girl, I wanted to adopt a baby (in my day dreams it was always a little girl with black curly hair). It dominated my thoughts from an early age and I carry that thought with me today, even now as I listen to the intense discussion over who's Lego Warship is built better and why coming from my eldest child's bedroom. I am a mother of 2 little boys. Jatin age 8 & Kingston age 5. They love Lego's, Minecraft and anything they can redesign into a gun. They are boys- boys to the definition and I adore them. I couldn't dream of my life without them. I will miss them when they grow up. My boys my homies.
A little history for those who don't know me.....
I used to be a model, travel the world and party with the famous kind of model. It was an AWESOME life now that I look back, almost too awesome for reality. One particularly amazing job I was on in paradise I met this kinda cute super funny guy and we made an instant connection. He melted my heart and gave me everything I could have ever wished for in a partner and a friend. We married, had two beautiful boys and we are happy. Not Hollywood happy like the perfect families in the movies but we are in love, committed to each other and our children, and respect each other, fully.
When I spoke with my husband 12 or so years ago and I told him that I wanted to adopt, he said O.K. not agreeing but definitely not disagreeing, that would have been a deal breaker. We casually spoke about it from time to time but we had/have busy lives and adoption just didn't fit into our schedule. I expected that when I was truly ready to pursue adoption he would delay as long as he could, and he did, for years.
Until last month.
September 14th my husband and I walked hand in hand into Zion Hill Baptist Church in
South Los Angeles and began our journey to become a Foster Family through LADCFS (Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services). Three hours later we walked out dazed and overwhelmed. I cried in the car (held it together in class but melted in the car) on our way to our friends baby shower and then cried on the way back home. The statistics our instructor blurted out regarding neglect and abuse was horrific. The hoops we have to go through to get licensed are ridiculous. The over all feeling we felt when we left the first class was nauseating but we found our peace.
When we entered the doors of Zion we didn't know what to expect and we were cautious, when we left we were united.
My husband and I decided that very day to open our home to children in "the system". We chose to pursue temporary Foster Care rather than adoption for our own private reasons. It is not nor will it ever be an easy decision, it involves everyone we love. Our children, friends, parents, grandparents, sisters, brothers, cousins and neighbors. It will take a village but I know deep down in my heart that THIS is what I was put on this planet for. To provide a child with a safe, loving, nurturing environment when their life is in deep darkness. To help them find the light. To love them unconditionally. I, Michele Paniz, can do that.
We have a long process before we are licensed. Hours of classes, fingerprints, financial records, background checks, ect. Every Saturday from November 2nd through December 14th 8am-4pm is scheduled for Foster Care Classes. I'm shuffling my boys around from grandparents to neighbors to school friends but I do believe that all this bull*&%$ we have to endure right now will be rewarded to us in the gift of a child or many children in our life. I can only imagine to reward of loving a child no matter what or who they are.
I would love to hear of your experiences with LADCFS or any other experiences with Fostering and Adoption. I am new to this but ready and willing
to learn.
Stay tuned for updates........
Always looking for the next lesson in life,
Michele
