I walked into the Community Care Children's Residential Program offices yesterday and handed in our second Foster Family Care application. The first one was misplaced and never entered into the system so I felt the need to personally hand it in this time. I received a call this morning at 9am that the application was received and we had our facility #. This number is our "Home Care Facility Number" it will follow us throughout our Foster Family life. Whew, one thing down and complete, I can check that off our never-ending list. It only took an extra 2 months of waiting…...
As we inch ever so slowly closer to our final goal I can't help but feel a twinge on my nerves and a banging in my head asking me if this is the right time to do this. Is
this the right time for my family to give up the comfortable lives we have built around ourselves to bring an unknown into our home, after all I have two kids at home that need me, they
still need me, it isn't like I am completely available to drop everything to take care of somebody else's child. I
want to do this, I have always wanted to, it is a drive inside me that I cannot truly explain but
can I do this comes with a very different answer. I don't know. How can anyone know if adopting or fostering is going to be the right thing for you and your family AND how do you know when the right time is?
Many people that we discuss our decision with say to us, "I couldn't do that" " That is so amazing of you to do this for another child" Is it? Are we
really that amazing? Or are we just completely delusional in thinking we can do this. My head understands that it will not be easy, a child torn from their mother and placed in a strangers home, a home that may be bigger or fancier but definitely different from the home they grew up in , a home with a mom and a dad and two big brothers. Imagine….
My husband works very long hours, I am the sole caretaker for my boys during the week as he pulls 12-13 hour days. Do I have what it will take to add another to the mix? Can I dig deep into myself and find more patience? Can I be understanding and gentle to every circumstance that walks or is carried through our door? Can I give this unknown child what he/she needs without trying to fill the desire inside of me to
fix them? What about lice, ear infections, bronchitis, crabs, other skin rashes, vaccinations (a lot of children come into the system having never seen a doctor) dirty diapers, diaper rash, uncontrollable crying, fear of water, ect. Can I do that? Do I want to do that? No, I don't, life is pretty awesome just the 4 of us now that I look at it. My boys are well mannered, a bit nuts at times but all in all great children do I want another? Do I want to start all over again and again and again? There is no answer I can come up with but I do know that if I never followed through with this calling than I will never truly know the answers to all of my questions.
Next up is to schedule to State Home Inspection. Yay!!! I am so excited for the State of California to come into my home and tell me if we live up to their expectations. Is our home clean, well cared for, no chipped paint (ha, we live in So Cal in an 80 yr old home, it chips paint every time the earth sneezes) no torn screens (hello I have boys) locked up guns, locked up medicines, proper pet documents, insurance, blah blah blah those sorts of things. If we don't pass the inspection than we won't get approved.
I'll keep you all posted.
Thank you for all of your support and endless love.
M
BTW For all of you people out there with baby stuff in your garage, I will need it. I need a crib, stroller, car seats, clothing, diapers, high chair, all the necessities to welcoming a child between the ages of brand new and 4 years old. Thank you in advance:)
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